For as long as I can remember I always thought of myself as a good person. I have always tried my best to treat others the way I would like to be treated. It took me quite some time to realized that even good people have bad traits. In my first relationship I was introduced to my bad side effects. Like most relationships mine started out magical. I had starry eyes. Butterflies were in my stomach. My heart danced inside my chest. Everything seemed perfect until my ex and I had our first rough patch. Me being a bad communicator, I didn't let me ex know that she did something to make me mad. I completely shutdown and became closed off. I communicated very little with my ex. Some days I did utter a word to her. This behavior went on for about a week. On night I woke up after hear the cries of my ex. She sat on the edge of the bed and cried. I sat up and asked her what is wrong. She told me that she felt unloved, invisible, worthless, and terrible. I knew that I was the cause of her pain. I didn't know how to empathize. I couldn't the right words to say. I hugged my ex and we laid down until sleep found us. The next morning we went on talking, bonding, and mingling as if the events from the previous days didn't happen. We found our magic again.
We went on with life and love until we both became tired of the same cycle of love and pain. We decided to go our separate ways. I eventually jumped into another relationship. Once again I saw and felt the magic of a new and fresh relationship. Everything was perfect until we had our first argument. This argument hit me like a wrecking ball. During the argument my new girlfriend used the same words that my ex used in our arguments. Once again I was making someone feel unloved, invisible, worthless, and terrible. In that moment I realized that I was a problem. I became aware of my bad side effects. I eventually became single again. In the depths of loneliness I started my healing journey. With the help of God I was made over. I didn't find perfection but I became mature enough to not runaway when it's time to communicate. I had the vision to see my wrongs right away and make a positive change.